When you have a dream of what you want, you can then do the necessary things to make your dream come true.  Understanding that there are always obstacles and life is never a smooth path.  It is your experience during the process that will make a difference in your life.  It is up to you to choose the experience that you want.

Often times, we also dream about a lot of things that are just illusions.  Illusions are distorted reality and they are not real.  We may want them to be real but they are not real.  Making things happen is real and dreams come true.  When we are not realistic, we are in illusions thinking that the illusions can be manifested.

Write down your dream in a piece of paper and set your goals based on the dream.  It may help you to set your path and the experience you want.

I am reading an old book by Dale Carnegie and here is a story that I find funny:

‘A farm woman, at the end of a heavy day’s work, set before her menfolks a heaping pile of hay. And when they indignantly demanded whether she had gone crazy, she replied, “Why, how did I know you’d notice? I’ve been cooking for you men for the last twenty years and in all that time I ain’t heard no word to let me know you wasn’t just eating hay.”’

We constantly hear people talk about how they are not appreciated by their spouses, coworkers, employers, parents and even children. Of course, we talk about not being appreciated all the time. We even try many different ways to get people to appreciate what we do and yet, we do not receive the appreciation that we want.

Most of us like to criticize and do not like to give “sincere thanks” to other people. Yet, we constantly want other people to give us the appreciation that we want. If you do not appreciate other people’s work, how do you receive other people’s appreciation to you? If you are constantly in complaint mode, you will not be able to see the appreciation that others have given you.

Start by saying “Thank you” sincerely to everyone you see today.

Every year, I write down a list of resolutions of eating healthy, do not procrastinate, work harder, make more money, clean my workroom etc.  Some other common ones are losing weight, find a job, find a boyfriend / girlfriend, etc.  But every year, it seems time just go by and the resolutions are forgotten.  I was thinking of not writing down anything this year and just take one day at a time.  Then I got an email from an old friend of mine.  She has her own business and she writes a Blog.  She was sharing her resolutions and I find it down to earth, specific and achievable.  I thought well, we do need something that we can achieve to improve our quality of life.  So, I decided to write down my New Year resolutions and share them with you all.  Well, I have about 9 on my list but some of them are a little more private than I wish to share.  So, here it is:

1.      Maintain my daily, weekly and monthly routine.  There are times that something happened and things get interrupted and not done.  It is not a pretty sight to see all these things piled up and not done.  So, I decided to have a monthly plan, then a weekly and then daily which will then be easier to maintain.  If some things do not get done today, I will get it done the next day or within the week.  Of course, the goal is to have them done monthly.

2.      Call my parents once every two weeks.  You may think this is strange.  I have been calling them around once every month and more during the holidays, birthdays, etc.  The intention is to call them at least once a week but I know I am stretching it.  So, it will have to be once every two weeks.  (There are many issues with my relationships with my parents and I am working on that.)

3.      Invite someone to lunch or coffee / tea once a month.  When things get hectic, I tend to give myself excuses of not seeing and cultivating my friendships.  Of course, relationships are important to give me the balanced life that I want to create.

4.      Make a habit of follow through with things.  Many times I say “I will send it to you” or “we will get together” or “I will call you next week”; and then never follow through.  So, I am going to use a note pad or my phone to take notes and follow through.  This leads to the next resolution #5.

5.      Say things that you mean and do not say things that you do not mean.  Most of the time, I will say I will do something and then, I forget.  However, sometimes I probably just say it without meaning to follow through.  This also applies to any arguments or conflicts with people.  Do not say things that you really do not mean. 

Now you can work on your list and may be you want to share them too.  Have a great 2011!!!!!!

The other day I met a woman. She said she needed some help. So, I went through a few things with her and she gave herself (not me) a lot of excuses why she cannot do certain things. One thing interesting is that she said “I’m sure something is out there for me; so, I am waiting.” I was astounded to hear that. She also said “I want to do something and I am waiting for that something to come.” Normally, if there is something out there, one would go and find it.

Waiting for something to come or happen is like “I want to go to the car and I am waiting for my leg to move” or “I am waiting for the car to come to me”. When you want to go to the car, you just pick up your feet and walk to the car. If you do not move, the car will not come to you.

We often wait for things to happen and we give ourselves excuses why things don’t go the way we want.

Remember, the car is always there, it is up to you to get there.

Most people do not want to change.  We want to grab hold of whatever we have and refuse to let go.  We give ourselves excuses why we cannot change or let go of what we are holding.  We do not want to change anything and we have the illusion that when nothing changes, things will eventually be better.

The problem is everything changes.  We are always getting older and the time is always running.  This minute and the last minute and the next minute are different.  Nothing stays the same.  When we try to stay the same and everything else around us is changing; we will feel a lot of pain and the pressure to change.

Are we constantly changing and moving or are we trying to hold on to whatever we have?  Remember, CHANGE or DIE!!!

This is when we feel that things are going well and then all of a sudden, something goes wrong and everything falls apart.  Instead of blaming it on the circumstances, situations or other people, this is the time when we need to take a hard look inside ourselves and see what were our thoughts and feelings that are contrary to the intentions of what we are doing.

Instead of Go and Stop, we should Stop and Go.  We stop to see what is happening in ourselves and everything around us, then; we know where to go and what to do.  Just like we continuously aware of what is happening on the road while we are driving.

Are we Stopping or Going or are we Going and Stopping?  You may find life a little easier if you Stop and Go instead of the other way around.

People talking and texting while driving, waiting in line at the bank or even while they cross the street with their baby stroller and dog at the same time. I always wonder what is so important that it cannot wait. I also wonder what people talk about when they are on the phone continuously for hours.

Why so many people want to connect in the first place? We are in the world with a lot of pressure and restrictions. Most of us are looking for ways to express ourselves and to find something that we can connect to in the world. Many of my clients told me that they absolutely cannot live without their cell phone.

In the old days, people connect without the cell phones and they seem happier then. What had changed? We desperately want to connect with everything outside that we are not connecting with ourselves. They are never present at whatever they are doing. Our bodies are in such chaos with so much thinking that we do not want to face ourselves. Therefore, we constantly look for some other things to do.

We CONNECT with friend.
We CONNECT with Facebook and Twitter.
We CONNECT with work.
But we DISCONNECT with our own self.

Most of us EXPECT the government to provide the services that we want.  Since our needs are different, then the government has to provide for the different needs.  That is why there are so many measures and such.  It has reached to a point that we become dependent on government to take care of us and we EXPECT the government to take care of us.

The relationship of the government to its people is one of responsibility and non-responsibility.  Just like we EXPECT the husband, wife, parents, kids to take care of what we want and we do not want to be responsible for what we are supposed to do.  We do not even want to be responsible for our own health, other people or government is EXPECTED to be responsible and take care of our needs.

We EXPECT and depend on others to care for our pains, our lives, our relationships and our experiences; we do not see what is possible and what we really want in our lives.

What are your EXPECTATIONS in your life?